Who do you tell?

Deciding to come out to a family member or friend is a very big and brave decision. It takes a lot of guts to muster up the courage to profess your true sexuality. Once the words "I am gay" leave your mouth, a giant weight is lifted off your shoulders. At first, I didn't believe that coming out would be that freeing, but after dealing with so many struggles on my own, I realized that it was a necessary step into finally facing my fears and reality. Years of oppression and depression which stemmed from suppressing my sexuality slowly began to crumble with each confession. I began to feel more secure in my sexuality, not because of anyone's acceptance, even though that was the best result to have, but because I didn't have to hide anything or make things awkward for myself when it came to being around friends and loved ones. 

So, to the question at hand is who do you tell?

In my experience, I think I chose to tell the right people at the right time, even though there was one confession that eventually bit me in the ass. Coming out is not an easy task for many of us, and it's understandable to shake in nervousness when you try to have the conversation, only to bow out and change the subject. We've all been there, so don't feel bad for it. The good thing is that unless you are forced out the closet, e.g., being outed by someone, it is up to you to decide when you want to come out to the person of your choice.

So far, I've come out to my closest friends, my mom, who eventually told my dad, and a college teacher or two. I can say that each reveal was different, and I also learned that you can't go into any of these situations with expectations because you may think you know how a person will react, but then once you tell the big news, the reaction will be little to nothing, which is cool. Based on the preexisting relationship you have with that loved one prior to coming out, you'll basically know whether they'll take it well, meet it with indifference, or freak the hell out.

Three weeks ago, I found out that one of my best friends knew that I was gay for a year, and she was waiting on me to come out to her, ha! What's even funnier is that she was low-key offended that she wasn't the first person I came out to. Now, I've read somewhere that the person receiving this news should be privileged that you decided to come out to him/her in the first place, so I could understand her feelings. The way she found out was through a friend of my ex-best friend. The ex friend was the first friend I chose to out myself to, and although I told her to keep quiet, the bitch went to town with the news, but it is what is. That'll be another blog post. At any rate, take your time and consider who you want to tell. No matter if you're so secure in your sexuality to where you don't need to tell anyone accept for your partner/lover, eventually, it may be necessary let all those you care about know that you are happy with yourself.

To those who have taken those steps:

Who did you disclose your sexuality to first? What made you decide to do it and why?